Little Red Riding Hood
Picture the scene: a big, dark wood. A winding path through the wood to a small cottage. And in the cottage, an old bat, half deaf and completely self-centered, always complaining about her grandchild who never visits.
Then, once a week on Saturedays, little red riding hood, said negligent grandchild, must make her way throiugh the woods to visit this disgusting old crone, taking food in a picnic basket, since the old bat is too selfish to buy her own food. Besides, if she didn’t demand to be fed, no one would ever visit her.
In the wood lived a wolf, a big grey hairy wolf. OHe had been avoiding eating LRRH because she was, well, little, so not reallyh worth the effort yet. And red, which is an unnatural colour for a edible creature to be.
One day the wolf was lying under a tree feeling a bit peckish, and he heard the footsteps of LRRH nearby, making her way through the woods to visit the hag. He had a look round a trunk, and saw she was carrying the picnic basket. She was walking with tired steps and looking at the ground, as she generally did on her way to her grandmother.Coming back she was always singing, skipping and gay.
So it was easy enoughy to sneak up behind her and grab her. Despite her unappetizing colour He was about to eat her when he realized he could peel her clothes off. Her body was then a much nicer pink colour and he ate her hungrily. Though she tasted ok, she was small and he was still hungry. He opened the picnic basket and ate all the sandwiches he found there.
There he sat fiddling with LRRH’s clothes. Presently he timidly, checking to see no one was watching, went behind a tree and tried them on. He felt a bit weird, a big strong wolf dressed in women’s clothing. A bit different. Since no one seemed to be around he thought he’d keep them on for a while.
Soon he wanted to try some makeup too, but of course LRRH, being a child, didn’t carry such items around.
Then he had a great idea. He put some pine cones in the basket to make it look full, covered it with a napkin and He headed off down the path to visit the old bat.
She opened the door when she heard in knocking. Ah its you LRRH. Why are you so late? You young people have no respect for the elderly. A pause…. My, you seem to have grown since I last saw you. And those teeth…
All the better to eat you with
The old bat was a bit hard of hearing, Ah yes, thanks for coming to meet me. I really think you should shave before you come and visit me. Are those enormous things ears?
All the better to hear you with.
Ah yes, your mother has been complaining about your hair growing so fast.
My your breath stinks! Doesn’t your mother ever tell you to clean your teeth?
I just had a small snack on the way here.
Well, come in, come in, lets see what you’ve brought for me. No one bothers with me anymore…
The wolf was still hungry but couldn’t bring himself to eat the old woman, she was just too ugly. So he decided to cook her first, reckoning that if he Cooked her lonmg enough she might soften up enough to be palatable. While she was boiling away, he dug around in her things and found her makeup, and spent a very pleasant afternoon entertaining himself.
Thw wolf lived happily ever after in the grandmopther’s house, as grandmother. No one noticed the change, in fact the opnion was that the old hag was a bit prettier than before. People wondered what had got into her, she was much a more pleasant person. Now ex -LRRH’s mother had the pleasure of taking grandma’s weekly deloivery of food to her. She wondered why her daughter had always complained about visiting her grandma, she had become a sweet old thing in her old age.
A polioce report about a missing person was issued for lrrh but no one suspected the hag had anything to do with it.
The moral of the story?
If those you involve in your evil deeds are more evil than you, chances are no one will mind and you’ll get away with it. In fact, if the result is a better situation, people might actually just conveniently look the other way.
Then, once a week on Saturedays, little red riding hood, said negligent grandchild, must make her way throiugh the woods to visit this disgusting old crone, taking food in a picnic basket, since the old bat is too selfish to buy her own food. Besides, if she didn’t demand to be fed, no one would ever visit her.
In the wood lived a wolf, a big grey hairy wolf. OHe had been avoiding eating LRRH because she was, well, little, so not reallyh worth the effort yet. And red, which is an unnatural colour for a edible creature to be.
One day the wolf was lying under a tree feeling a bit peckish, and he heard the footsteps of LRRH nearby, making her way through the woods to visit the hag. He had a look round a trunk, and saw she was carrying the picnic basket. She was walking with tired steps and looking at the ground, as she generally did on her way to her grandmother.Coming back she was always singing, skipping and gay.
So it was easy enoughy to sneak up behind her and grab her. Despite her unappetizing colour He was about to eat her when he realized he could peel her clothes off. Her body was then a much nicer pink colour and he ate her hungrily. Though she tasted ok, she was small and he was still hungry. He opened the picnic basket and ate all the sandwiches he found there.
There he sat fiddling with LRRH’s clothes. Presently he timidly, checking to see no one was watching, went behind a tree and tried them on. He felt a bit weird, a big strong wolf dressed in women’s clothing. A bit different. Since no one seemed to be around he thought he’d keep them on for a while.
Soon he wanted to try some makeup too, but of course LRRH, being a child, didn’t carry such items around.
Then he had a great idea. He put some pine cones in the basket to make it look full, covered it with a napkin and He headed off down the path to visit the old bat.
She opened the door when she heard in knocking. Ah its you LRRH. Why are you so late? You young people have no respect for the elderly. A pause…. My, you seem to have grown since I last saw you. And those teeth…
All the better to eat you with
The old bat was a bit hard of hearing, Ah yes, thanks for coming to meet me. I really think you should shave before you come and visit me. Are those enormous things ears?
All the better to hear you with.
Ah yes, your mother has been complaining about your hair growing so fast.
My your breath stinks! Doesn’t your mother ever tell you to clean your teeth?
I just had a small snack on the way here.
Well, come in, come in, lets see what you’ve brought for me. No one bothers with me anymore…
The wolf was still hungry but couldn’t bring himself to eat the old woman, she was just too ugly. So he decided to cook her first, reckoning that if he Cooked her lonmg enough she might soften up enough to be palatable. While she was boiling away, he dug around in her things and found her makeup, and spent a very pleasant afternoon entertaining himself.
Thw wolf lived happily ever after in the grandmopther’s house, as grandmother. No one noticed the change, in fact the opnion was that the old hag was a bit prettier than before. People wondered what had got into her, she was much a more pleasant person. Now ex -LRRH’s mother had the pleasure of taking grandma’s weekly deloivery of food to her. She wondered why her daughter had always complained about visiting her grandma, she had become a sweet old thing in her old age.
A polioce report about a missing person was issued for lrrh but no one suspected the hag had anything to do with it.
The moral of the story?
If those you involve in your evil deeds are more evil than you, chances are no one will mind and you’ll get away with it. In fact, if the result is a better situation, people might actually just conveniently look the other way.
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