CC7 - Research Your Topic

Props:

Screwdriver

Wad of notes

Glass of water

DIY Series #1 - The Screwdriver

Today I want to demonstrate this screwdriver. Here is a screw. I can screw it in. I can screw it out. I can screw it down. And I can screw it up. (hurt my finger – owhh)

This is what I’m good at. Actually I thought I was the best until I heard about Captain Walter. He commanded  one of the greatest DIY stories in history.

The year was 1942. The Americans have always loved a good war. But they had been dilly-dallying, not sure whether to support the Germans or the British. They had really wanted to join the germans. But then after the Battle of Britain, they weren’t so sure.  Americans hate losing.  So finally they decided to meet the Allies to weigh up their options. They decided to send their president, Franklin J Roosevelt, in a convoy of ships to meet the Allies leaders, Churchill and Stalin.

They had been building a lot of new battleships, and one they just finished happened to be called the USS William D Porter. The Porter’s  first mission was to join the fleet which was to escort the president to his important meeting.

(trip on stage)

As she reversed out of the harbour, the brand new crew and brand new captain, Captain Walter, was at the back excitedly looking out seawards and discussing what loot they would get when they won the war. No one  noticed that the anchor was dragging across the deck of a nearby brand-newbattleship, scraping railings, life rafts and other expensive brand new navy equipment off into the sea. That other ship was rendered disabled.

A minor screw up.  Because the Porter was unphased   and headed off happily to join the president’s fleet.

(lose my place in my notes – get other notes out pocket)

The fleet had to cross German U-boat infested waters, so it had to go very fast and very quiet. As the fleet sped in absolute silence across the oceans, suddenly they heard a huge explosion. All the ships immediately took evasive maneuvers and began searching frantically for the enemy. Then the  very small voice of Captain Walter announced over the radio, a depth charge had by mistake rolled of the back of the Porter and blew up.

A minor screw up.

(drink and spill water)

The admiral of the fleet was a bit jittery now. He was on the main ship, the USS Iowa, with the Pres. But after a while nothing further seemed to go wrong, so he decided to give the President a little demo. So they launched some balloons and shot them. A few drifted over to the Porter, so Captain Walter saw an opportunity to redeem himself. Accordingly he also started shooting balloons. Excited at their successes, they decided to go a step further.

They decided to fire a few fake torpedoes too.

At the USS Iowa.

Except  one of those torpedos was not a fake.

A major screw up.

Imagine the scene. Captain Walters standing on deck, watching as the real torpedo headed off towards the Iowa. About then the realization hit him. He was about to kill the president of the USA. A horrible, debilitating feeling. You know the feeling I’m talking about?

Then there comes that time between having made the screw up, and when everybody is going to find out. The knowledge is yours only. A lonely time.

Many things went through Captain Walters mind. Will they know it was me?  Can I blame someone else? Maybe a miracle will occur and the torpedo will turn out a dud?

(knock a whole lot of stuff around – maybe speech papers)

Finally Captain Walters realized, as the torpedo made its inevitable way towards the Iowa, all was lost.

He thought fast now. He had to take action. He could jump overboard and try to drown. He could hide inside a barrel and wait until someone shoots at a German. He could pretend he had lost his mind and gone crazy, be taken to the hold in a straight jacket. It didn’t really matter. He was finished.

He took action. He got on the radio and told the Admiral of their impending doom.

The Admiral responded with evasive maneauvres.

The torpedo missed the Iowa and the president.

 (hold screwdriver)

Some people are better with this tool than others. So next time you make a little screw up, share a thought for the great masters of DIY who went before you. Unless your name is Captain Walter or Oscar Pretorius, you’re  a noobie. Your mistake is minor. Don’t