Regrets cc6

In life so often we regret the things we never did. We were too scared. Or too weak. Or simply too incompetent.

Tonight I’ll tell you a story. A story about how I had regrets.

 Some years ago, when I was still in school, there was a nice girl in my class. Ingrid. We used to make eye contact. I knew I had to ask her out. But every day went by, and I could never get the courage.

Then, out of school, years later, I happened to have a meeting at a large accounting firm, and lo and behold, there she was, across one of those open plan offices by the water cooler. Later, at home, I thought of her .. and myself,  in various situations. The old feelings I had in school returned in force. Fate had brought her to me. But now I was ready.

So the next day I picked up the phone and called her. She thought it was kind of weird but agreed to meet.

We met for coffee. I summoned all my courage and blurted my heart out, told her how much I loved her, I had always loved her, even in school. I could not live without her.

You can all guess what happened. Yes. She told me in no uncertain terms that the feeling was not mutual. She was not interested, was never interested, never would be. She was sorry. We parted company.

I was devastated. My ego was destroyed. Run over, stomped on, destroyed.  By her.  I considered suicide. Then I said to myself, no.  Why should I die when she’s the one responsible?

You can easily get away with murder in SA but you do need to plan a bit. So I staked out her house for a few days. Unfortunately she noticed me. First she shouted, told me to stop being weird and clear off. I did. But I came back the next day. And the next.  And the next. On about the 6^th day she saw me again and got extremely angry, she came running across the road to catch me before I could drive off.  A car came round the corner and ran her over.

She died right there, in the road, cradled in my arms. I cried and cried.

That evening, at home, I began to think. In fact, there was another girl in school I was keen on. Her name was Carolyn. But I never had the courage then to ask her out either.

I phoned her. She thought it was a bit weird but agreed to meet me.

The previous episode with Ingrid was still fresh in me. How she had destroyed my ego, shamed me, and left me to rot. I began to dislike Carolyn before I even arrived.

I arrived late. I Joked about her funny hairstyle. Told her how she had clearly had a crush on me but I was never interested. Still was not. Told her how, if she was the last woman on earth, and me the last man, I’d rather sort myself out. Told her how sorry I felt for her husband.

You can all guess what happened. Yes. She couldn’t stop phoning me. She keep her hands off me. Within two weeks I had achieved my objective. No one else needed to die.

And you? Have you ever wanted something really badly but been to stupid to get it? Blinded by passion? Thrown away your ego in a blundering show of incompetence?

Take control! Know that you are powerful. You are in control of your destiny. Think, plan and act. And ever don’t regret what you didn’t do again.