Rights and Responsibilities

Everybody knows that we Toastmasters are highly talented and respected leaders. But such excellenece also has it’s costs. Yes, maybe because of our vast skills and superior, honed intellects, we also carry a heavy burden. I’m talking about the burden of our human rights.

In any society, the cream thereof naturally have to bear a higher load of human rights than their lesser human compatriots. And as everyone knows, human rights also mean a responsibility. A responsibility to be offended when they are infringed.

Theerefore it is very important to be constantly on your gyard. Offensiveness can be so subtle it’s almost invisible to the untrained eye. It’s horrible to think that someone infringed your rights and you didn’t even notice.

So what do you look out for? Well, first off, you need to be aware of who you are. The best thing to be is something minority, something unsual, something likely to grab attention. A handicapped pygmy. A gay muslim. A member of The Sages Toastmasters Club.

The next thing is to have a lot of beliefs and cultural traditions. So, for example, if you’re from Poland, you can be on the lookout for people insulting your culture by doing Pole dancing when they aren’t Polish. If you’re a member of Sages, you can look out for people who don’t stand when giving the toast of the evening. If you’re a woman, you can look out for a man who is talking.

Now some of us are normal and have no specific peculiarities. Were not a woman. Were not a member of sages. If you’re like that, you need to create a culture for yourself. For example, no one knows what the traditions on the island of Geronimos are, which has been sunk by rising seas from global warming. You could be the last one from there. Then You could be offended by virtually anything, a handshake, a pat on the back, an offer of a cup of coffee.

While you’re at it, create a religion for yourself too. One that requires you to wear special headgear, all the time. And praryer time starts just when everyone else is about to start work.

Don’t forget to Create other cultural idiosyncrasies that encourage jealousy in others. Eg You can only eat certain things which cost 3 times what they eat. You are allowed as many wives as you want, they are only allowed 1. you get 100 virgins in heaven when you die, they only get 72. every friday you vanish into an expensive looking temple to “pray”.

Then you hang around in the society of other cultures, in full headgear, looking pious, and waiting for them to offend you. Go where the chances of being offended are highest. For example, Greenside TM club.

So what to do when you have been suitably offended?

One important thing in being offended is showing it. People must notice. The best kind of showing offense is that designed to escalate the situation, maybe propel the offender to even more offensiveness. First prize is for some onlooker to pull out there cellphone, make a Youtube video. Impact is what you’re after.

Often, a successfully escalated offensive situation can lead to physical offense, and more chance of your youtube going viral. Always leave a weapon lying around for them to use. But not anything too dangerous. An extension cord is a good idea.

It is your responsibilty a s a toastmater, to seek out offensiveness and punish it appropriately. Make them pay. Only then are we helping to create an offense-free society. Much like the Sages tM club. Safe, trouble free, controlled and so boring, maybe you should rather watch TV at home.