My Accident
Recently I was horrified to find myself in hospital, and only able to move around using a wheelchair. Later I was even more horrified when they took the wheelchair away when I tried to leave and gave me these crutches instead. A wheelchair is actually write a lot of fun when you get used to it, but crutches?
Believe it or not, they can also be fun. Never before have I experienced a woman opening a door for me and allowing me to go first. It’s a different world being disabled.
Travel: you can’t drive so everyone has to drive you around, much like the Queen of Sheba, I imagine. AT the shopping centre, the car guard insists you park in the disabled zone. And if its got a wheelchair painted in yellow and you only have crutches, you head for the Lame zone – its got an L.
I had to attend a conference yesterday. Instead of standing in line to get your own food, you just go and sit down. Before you know it, you’re the only one in the room who is waited on hand and foot. While you just relax and look hard done by.
But surely the best is being able to confidently go and sit next to the very hottest woman in the room and she actually welcomes you. Then, even better, you immediately have a topic of conversation. How did it happen? Then of course your creativity takes over – “you remember that tiger that escaped?” or how you hurt yourself saving children from a burning shack in the Honeydew squatter camp.
With practise you’ll have her eating out your hand.
And at work? Did you know that being disabled immediately makes you equivalent to a previously disadvantaged person in BEE ratings? And you thought you needed to change colour.
19% of White disabled people are employed in full-time positions, White Paper on Integrated National Disability Strategy (1997). That figure is now 19.1% with me. The other 80% are probably multimillionaire tenderprensurs.
So what chances have you, the unfortunate able bodied majority, of ending up like me, a fortunate alternatively abled person?
Well, being in Africa helps. Africa – 32 deaths/100000, global 18, SA33
Being between 15 and 24 also helps: USA accidents main cause of deaths 15-24 year olds . Worldwide, 5 largest
Ride a motorbike: Motorcyclists experience a death rate 35 times greater than the occupants of cars.
Drive a car in SA. There’re a lot of 4x4’s out there, and SUV-to-car collisions are six times more likely to kill the occupants of the smaller vehicle when compared to a normal car-to-car collision. National highay traffic safety administration (NHTSA).
In fact, I’m surprised I;m the only cripple around here, because there’s supposed to be another 55 774 in SA, according to StatsSA.
I don’t know where they all are, probably having dinner at the Villamoura in Sandton, or enjoying round the world cruises.
But don’t just take my word for it, you can try it too. Just make sure its only temporary – despite all the benefits I still look forward to 1 Nov when this will come off . there’s really nothing that can replace your complete, fully functioning self.
Believe it or not, they can also be fun. Never before have I experienced a woman opening a door for me and allowing me to go first. It’s a different world being disabled.
Travel: you can’t drive so everyone has to drive you around, much like the Queen of Sheba, I imagine. AT the shopping centre, the car guard insists you park in the disabled zone. And if its got a wheelchair painted in yellow and you only have crutches, you head for the Lame zone – its got an L.
I had to attend a conference yesterday. Instead of standing in line to get your own food, you just go and sit down. Before you know it, you’re the only one in the room who is waited on hand and foot. While you just relax and look hard done by.
But surely the best is being able to confidently go and sit next to the very hottest woman in the room and she actually welcomes you. Then, even better, you immediately have a topic of conversation. How did it happen? Then of course your creativity takes over – “you remember that tiger that escaped?” or how you hurt yourself saving children from a burning shack in the Honeydew squatter camp.
With practise you’ll have her eating out your hand.
And at work? Did you know that being disabled immediately makes you equivalent to a previously disadvantaged person in BEE ratings? And you thought you needed to change colour.
19% of White disabled people are employed in full-time positions, White Paper on Integrated National Disability Strategy (1997). That figure is now 19.1% with me. The other 80% are probably multimillionaire tenderprensurs.
So what chances have you, the unfortunate able bodied majority, of ending up like me, a fortunate alternatively abled person?
Well, being in Africa helps. Africa – 32 deaths/100000, global 18, SA33
Being between 15 and 24 also helps: USA accidents main cause of deaths 15-24 year olds . Worldwide, 5 largest
Ride a motorbike: Motorcyclists experience a death rate 35 times greater than the occupants of cars.
Drive a car in SA. There’re a lot of 4x4’s out there, and SUV-to-car collisions are six times more likely to kill the occupants of the smaller vehicle when compared to a normal car-to-car collision. National highay traffic safety administration (NHTSA).
In fact, I’m surprised I;m the only cripple around here, because there’s supposed to be another 55 774 in SA, according to StatsSA.
I don’t know where they all are, probably having dinner at the Villamoura in Sandton, or enjoying round the world cruises.
But don’t just take my word for it, you can try it too. Just make sure its only temporary – despite all the benefits I still look forward to 1 Nov when this will come off . there’s really nothing that can replace your complete, fully functioning self.
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